Dear Mr. Hasbro,
Again, thank you for providing me with my fondest childhood memories of sitting around the card table with my family playing board games. We have been doing a lot of that again lately and only wish there was a new exciting board we could enjoy that reflected these uncertain times teeming with strife and boredom.
I’m sure your company will recall that in the past I have pitched you some ideas inspired by my favorite Parker Bros. games like Trouble, Sorry!, Aggravation, Risk, and Headache. I had made the mistake, I realize now, of trying to second guess you would want more games based on pain and suffering and understand why you rejected Trauma, Mourn, Gout! and Mass Destruction—they were too depressing and unappealing to teenagers.